New Year's Revolution

I'm not making any New Year's resolutions this year. Not even one.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm far from perfect.  There are about 43 billion things about me that need to change.  Or that I would like to change.  Or, perhaps, that others would like to change  about me.  Sigh.  And it's not that I lack resolve.  One of my favorite writers says that every morning she "wakes up one determined woman."  I know that woman, too.  She lives in me.

Nope, I 'm not making any resolutions by choice.  Instead, I'm focusing on a REVOLUTION.  You know, like the Beatles' song.  According to Webster's, revolution can mean many things.  But the definition I have hijacked and adopted for the year is this: a change of paradigm.

I am shifting my thought pattern.  I am throwing out old and inaccurate perceptions of myself.  I am rocking my own world, down to the fundamentals of who I am, who I REALLY am.  Not who I think I am.  Not who I wish I was.  Sounds pretty elementary, doesn't it?  Not for me.

I have been in survival mode for some time.  Just getting through each day with every person in our household mostly intact and functioning has been the goal.  And, truthfully, it's no small accomplishment for that to take place.  But I have a little more margin in my life now, some of it self-created and some of it created for me, and I'm going to purposefully change the pattern.

Don't get nervous or worried.  I'm not going to jettison my husband, shave my head, or sell all my possessions.  In fact, you may not even notice any change at all.  That's okay.  I'm going to notice.  It's my new paradigm. I'll give a paradigm update every now and then.  Not because I think your whole world hinges on what I say or think, but because I'm trying to be transparent in meaningful ways (part of the new paradigm). 

This will be an eventful year.  Friends will grieve.  Babies will arrive.  My kids will grow.  The economy will brighten (a girl can hope).  And while the specifics of each of those will consistently cycle through my thoughts, I am going to live more on purpose, and less on accident.  I'm going to take steps to make Survive my fall back mode and Thrive Mode my new normal.

And every single day, I'm going to be thankful.  Every. Single. Day.  I'm not out to change the world.  I'm just out to change my world.

And in the words of the Beatles' song, "You know it's gonna be alright."